I am overwhelmed. Our family’s schedule is out of control with October activities. My daughter has her lessons three days a week, as well as her regular activities. I took on helping to organize a neighborhood festival. And it feels like there are a million other things in addition to my usual work tasks. To say I would be absolutely nuts if I wasn’t prioritizing is an understatement.

But as I’m doing this prioritizing, some feelings are coming up, and I think it would be a great time to explore those and how I’m dealing with them. Some of them are valid and some of them are not. But regardless, they are all asking for my attention right now.

So let’s take a look at them.

Disappointment

The feeling of disappointment is something that I think I always carry with me. I know what I’m capable of. When I don’t reach my potential, it’s disappointing.

With the festival, for example, we had a whole list of ideas that we wanted to include. But when it came to the amount of time we could devote to it, we had to pick and choose what was actually possible. There was a part of me that felt like we might disappoint people by not doing ALL THE THINGS. But this festival was canceled until we took it up. We are honestly doing a whole lot to begin with and no one will even know what I wanted to do.

I think it really helps me to think yes it is sad that I can’t do something. But then I have to quickly flip it around and put the way I prioritized something in perspective. Maybe I couldn’t have done the few things I did as well if I tried to do everything. Maybe nothing would have been able to happen if I hadn’t done my little bit. Putting the priorities into perspective helps me shake off that disappointment I feel.

“I can do more”

This is something I say all the time, but it’s almost never true. My prioritizing takes the shape of creating a list and listing out each task in order of importance. And then I draw a line under the tasks that have to be done in order for the things to happen. Any of the tasks that happen under that line are cake. I have to do the tasks above the line before I even think about those under the line. And I constantly repeat to myself that those other tasks are cake.

Why does this work for me? Those tasks that aren’t priorities are still on the list. So I’m honoring my idea that there’s a chance that I can do more, even though I’m at the same time taking things off my plate. I am able to concentrate on what matters, and I have things I can come back to if I want. But it’s not necessary. It lifts a bit of weight off of me while keeping myself open to what might happen. It’s a bit of trick to help calm me down and keep me from trying to do everything.

Letting go

I hang onto things for way too long. I’ll do something and then come up with all of the ways it could have gone better if I had only done everything that was in my head. Yes, it’s tiring, which is why I need to quit it.

After I have separated all those tasks into my cake list, they no longer have anything to do with what I have to do. The second I realize that I can’t do them, I do my best to forget about them completely and concentrate on what I can do. When everything is done, I focus on my successes as best as possible. Inevitably, I’ll start thinking about how something might have been better if only I had done this one thing. I try to re-frame it as much as possible. Yes, it might have been better. But then it might not have gotten done. And I wouldn’t have all of these successes. Always go back to the successes when these thoughts pop into your head. It makes it easier to let go of what might have been and accept what is.

What feelings do you have when you are prioritizing? How do you deal with them?