This happens time and time again to me: Someone decides to voice how much they hate what I had to say or what I posted for a client on social media. Sometimes it happens in a mild way and it’s not too much to shrug off. Sometimes they go for the jugular and I have to figure out how to move on.

And this is one of the reasons why working in social media is such a hard job. You have to take these hits and keep moving. Because if you don’t, social media work doesn’t get done and that’s very bad for your client or organization. Then you get fired and someone else will come in that knows how to keep going a bit better than you do.

So basically taking care of your mental health and being able to bounce back from personal attacks on social media is vital for staying in this career. It’s okay that you feel like this is taking a toll. Let’s look at how to lessen this toll.

Classify

I don’t know about you, but my instinct is to classify each attack as the worst thing in the world. I think my clients are going to see it and think I’m a fraud as well. This is not helpful thinking.

What is helpful is to classify what kind of comment this is, so you can figure out what should happen next.

• Troll: People are really fast to classify any kind of negative comment as trolling. That’s simply not true. An actual troll is someone who constantly posts negative things to social media in the hopes of disrupting the conversation or of causing actual harm. Unless you are under attack on social media, it’s actually unlikely that a negative comment is actually a troll. It could be, but it’s the least likely of all the categories.
• Not helpful community member: Obviously this is someone that is in your community. They could have all of the best intentions in the world, but there negative comment is just not it.
• Not helpful and not a community member: Once again, this person may be trying to be helpful despite a crappy comment, but you also have no idea who they are.
• Helpful community member: So maybe the delivery was off, but you know the person and maybe they had a point when they made that comment.
• Helpful and not a community member: You have no idea who this person is, but they were spot-on with what they said.

Categorizing the comment in this way then guides you to what should happen next.

If possible, take a walk

I’m not saying don’t do your job. What I’m saying is that you’re probably not in the mental space to do your job right now. So hide the comment (if possible) until you are able to be in that mental space to deal with it. And then do whatever it is that you need to do to get yourself back to normal. Getting outside is always a great one for me or doing some form of exercise. It truly does not matter what you do as long as it’s something that will get you back into a neutral frame of mind.

You’re probably asking yourself why I didn’t suggest doing this first instead of categorizing the comment. I actually used to suggest doing this first. But I realized that I’m going to stew on this comment anyway, so I might as well figure out exactly what kind of comment it is before I try to get to neutral. Why? Because it let me figure out exactly how important the comment really was in the grand scheme of things and let me get over it just a bit faster. And time is of the essence when it comes to social media, so anything that speeds this along is a good thing.

Unfortunately, sometimes a comment is bad enough that it needs to be escalated as quickly as possible. If that’s the case, obviously do that, and then do quick breathing exercises and/or listen to music as you wait for replies to your escalation. Every little bit helps, and even though it is better to get back to neutral all in one chunk of time, doing little things to get you there as you have the time will work as well.

Deal with it

Now that you are back to neutral, you can decide with a clear head if this is a crisis and whether you need to enact your crisis communication plan.

Don’t have a crisis communication plan? That’s a whole other problem. For now, do your best with the information you have. But when this problem is done, start the work to get a crisis communication plan together. Then everyone in your organization is on the same page when problems pop up.

I would go into this more, but the goal here is your mental health. So let’s get back to that…

Don’t dwell on it

I have a tendency to dwell on a mistake or when someone says something bad towards me. It’s a problem I’m working on, but I know it is something I have to work on after an issue like this pops up. If you don’t have to deal with that, I’m a little jealous.

The cool thing is that it can easily be looked at from the point of view of the categories we’ve already established above.

• Troll: This person was just trying to hurt you and your organization. You likely will never hear from them again, and if you do, it will be short-lived. Because the less you interact with them, the more likely they are to go away quickly. So just keep in mind that they have no productive goals. They also won’t be around for long if you just leave it.
• Not helpful community member: Look, we all have a few of these. No matter what you do, they have something to say about it. It’s best to just accept that you’ll never make them happy and move on. Because you can’t make everyone happy. You’re not ice cream. Are you worried they might complain to the higher ups? This is a case where if you’re openly communicating with your supervisor that this community member is causing issues then you shouldn’t have to worry about that. They can decide to reach out to see what’s really going on (hint: this is almost never about the social media person). And then they can diffuse the situation in a way that you probably can’t. Or they can also actively accept there isn’t a lot they can do. Either way, it’s in their hands.
• Not helpful and not a community member: You can actually divide this category into two subcategories. Either they should be a community member or they are someone who just flew in to say something. In both cases, they’re not familiar with you and your organization. So the chances are good that this is not all that personal. Let it roll off your back and instead think about whether you should be the welcome wagon for this person. Then they can get to know you and the organization.
• Helpful community member: In this case, I always start with thinking this person has the best intentions in the world. They may just not know the proper place or way to voice a criticism. Taking the time to switch the mindset from, “They’re attacking me,” to, “They’re trying to help me,” really can help your mood and help future interactions with this person. It’s a big mood boost and can help you get past the comment much faster.
• Helpful and not a community member: This person is knows nothing about you or your organization. They’re just dropping in. Honestly, even if their delivery is off, I would view this as an opportunity. Invite them to be a part of your community and get to know the organization. Then next time, maybe they’ll send a message to tell you about something instead of a comment. But like with the community member, when you do this, make sure you come at it by thinking they have the best intentions and are trying to help you. You’re now helping them become a community member in return.

Honestly, this situation is so hard, because you have to be so mentally strong while someone may or may not be trying to tear you down. If you don’t overreact, take each step as it comes and keep yourself as neutral as possible, you will get through it. And then make sure you follow up with yourself. You never know what mental issues that the situation may have brought up.

Working in social media is not easy. But consistently making sure your mental health is in check will get you through those rough spots.