We’re al very unique people, so we don’t agree on everything. So it’s not surprising that you’ll have a disagreement with your social media consultant from time to time. It’d be weird if you didn’t.

I always view a big part of my job as aligning the interests of the client an the audience in such a way that the client gets more business. My client’s interests lay solely on creating more business. Those interests can compete and clashes can happen, especially when everyone is not on the same page of what is going on.

So what do you do when a disagreement comes up? How do you handle it in a way that will further your relationship with your social media consultant rather than ruin? Let’s talk about it.

Assume everyone is coming from a good place

I always say that a lot of disagreements wouldn’t become volatile if everyone came to the table thinking everyone else was coming from a good place. It just changes your demeanor towards everyone. They’re no longer the enemy to get around. Instead, they’re also just trying to figure this out in the best way possible. You’re more likely to want to listen and understand if you are coming from that place.

Seriously that slight change in attitude can take the temperature of any disagreement way down. And then the following discussion can be more productive from the get-go.

Identify the root cause of the disagreement

Nothing can be accomplished if you are focused on a symptom rather than what is actually going on.

Maybe the disagreement seemingly started because of an edit that wasn’t agreed to. But in reality, it was really about something that happened weeks ago and that edit was just what made things blow up. If you just addressed the edit, then this will likely keep happening. That’s not productive for anyone.

So take some time to figure out the root cause together. Or if that’s not possible, then bring in a trusted third party to help. With one of the disagreements I had with a client, one of the employees of my client who was familiar with me and my contact. That person was able to give me more of a full view of what was going on so we could move forward. I never would have gotten to the root cause any other way.

Have an open discussion about the disagreement

If you truly come to this meeting thinking everyone is coming from a good place, this should be a productive meeting, although it might be hard.

Discuss your view on things without putting any blame on the other person. Accept what you might have done in the situation, and if needed apologize. Listen as your social media consultant gives their own views and don’t interrupt even if those views vary wildly from your own. You may even want to be accepting of the fact that you might be wrong in this situation.

Am I saying you should be a pushover in this discussion? Absolutely not. If your social media consultant isn’t able to do the exact same thing you are doing and is instead throwing all the blame on you, then it is a good idea to end the discussion and re-evaluate if this is a relationship you want to continue.

The only way for this to work is if both sides are open and coming from a good place. If that’s not true, then it’s okay to move on.

Find a way forward

After you have talked through what has been going on, it’s time to look toward the future.

What do you need for this relationship to work? Do you need more boundaries? What needs to change? What is working?

Lead with the past positives when you start mapping out a way to make this work. Maybe you love the consultant’s fast turnaround on projects. Mention how great that has been and how you’d love for that to continue. Knowing that you value something about the relationship will make the consultant more open to any changes you might propose.

But do not come into this part of the conversation thinking it’s your way or the highway. That’s a great way to lose this relationship. Instead, every time you propose a change, be open to hearing the consultant out and be ready to compromise. Some of your suggestions may require more work (even if you don’t think it will) and may not fit within the confines of your contract, so be okay if the answer is no and/or require more negotiation than just one meeting provides.

Once again, I’m not saying be a pushover. Do not let your consultant dictate how this relationship will move forward, but also don’t dictate what it will look like either. Stand your ground when it’s needed, but be open to hearing other ideas that might also work. It’s a delicate balance but it can be done.

Evaluate

And then you see what happens. Has this relationship changed in a way that’s beneficial to both parties? Or is it still completely broken? Or maybe it’s somewhere in-between?

Evaluate how things are going on both sides. Keep that open communication going by regularly asking your social media consultant about how the changes are working and really listen to how they answer. Maybe the relationship will improve with a few tweaks here and there. Whatever it is, give it a try. You can always continue tweaking until it feels like things are in a good place for both of you.

If you’re know this is the right person in the right position for your organization, a little work on both sides should be all it takes to make this become a productive relationship. Of course, if one of the two sides refuses to put that work in, then there is no way forward.

And one big thing to remember: You don’t have to be best friends to make this work. You just have to respect each other and know you both have the organization’s best interests at heart. That will go a long way towards creating great work together.

How have you handled disagreements with your social media consultant before? Did that help or hurt your relationship?